Je Ne Sais Qoui

I stopped making New Year's Resolutions years ago.

Happy 2008!

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Breezy Afternoon

Little India

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Forgotten Lot

Righteous Vespa

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Craptacular Christmas Extravaganza

For daily sustenance, I am forced to visit many malls in/near my neighborhood. That's where a lot of the good food courts and restaurants live. And in this country, malls = community centers.

And malls are now completely decked out in Christmas plasticana. Some even feature live shows. Just the other day, I saw Bert and Ernie sing "Deck the Halls" and dance with a couple of creepy, grown-up dancers in bright overalls on a makeshift stage. Alas, I did not have my camera to make my ex-colleagues at the ol' Workshop shriek in horror.

I was walking back from a great bowl of authenic Japanese ramen (Marutama Ramen, Central Mall #03-90) and I see a tiny ice skating rink-cum-stage (with real ice) getting ready for a show!

The host came out and introduced the ice show, which was apparently all about old Hollywood musicals. He was Aussie-chirpy and hiding a bit of a paunch, but managed to get the dazed shoppers to clap along and cheer on the skaters.

'Craptacular' was the first word I thought of...

Now, I know you are dying to experience that red-and-white, rhinestones-and-feathers opening number. C'mon, turn up the volume and press play. Do it for me. [60 sec]

This next one is a solo routine from the youngest (around 14-16 years old) skater in the show. He had this amazing artificial-yet-earnest expression (think young Brian Boitano) the whole time he was twirling and I doubted whether he was sober or straight. [2 min]

Now, if any of you can tell me which musical this next one is from, I would appreciate it. I'm hearing it in my nightmares. [2 min]

Hooray for Hollywood. And BAH HUMBUG.

* ! * ! * M E R R Y * C H R I S T M A S * ! * ! *

~ ♪ Everywhere You Go ♪ ~

Happy Holidays!

For me, Christmas has always been associated with Broadway and 5th Avenue lights, the Rockefeller Center tree, large woolen scarves wrapped around your head/neck/chest against the chilling winds, last-minute shopping frenzy, and hot chocolate thawing your frozen fingers at some cafe.

Singapore is “same same but different”. Observe…

An instant shopping village sprouted in the middle of the Takashimaya mall basement

A Christmas decoration booth at Takashimaya (for all the plastic pine trees, of course)

A 3-storey Christmas tree in the main lobby of the Takashimaya, where families take group shots and look at foreign brands they can never afford

Orchard Road with lights (it puzzles me that they are in the shape of snowflakes)

A group of elder-angels getting ready for a street performance in front of, where else, a mall called Paragon

I don’t know… am not feeling that holiday magic, despite the carols constantly pumped through the malls and food courts. I think I always had an issue with the hyper-commercialization of Christmas (and holidays in general) in the U.S. but Singapore managed to go a step further by emulating snowscapes and evergreens.

Bah humbug.

Secret Life of Emperor Penguins

So I was walking through one mall to get to a food court behind another mall (air conditioning helps in this heat) on Orchard Road, and see this next to a key copy kiosk.

Clearly someone is having a bathroom/cigarette/lunch break during a shift. And yes, I was very VERY tempted to take it for a future party... and no, I did not.

After lunch, I dodge the tourists and locals walking on Orchard Road and see the working penguin.

At this point, I had such a pity for the working penguin since it was boiling hot and he/she had to hold the hand of a handler (in a similarly coordinated black/red t-shirt and yellow cap, but no penguin-wear) to walk about.

I wondered, 'Why is there a penguin on a tropical island?'

Then the handler's t-shirt back side revealed that "March of the Penguins" was coming to theaters near me. Lovely. Promotions here seem to be a throwback to the 80's when I remember giant Hot Dogs or some kind of a Fruit-person handing out flyers in the New York City streets.

Oink Oink

I think this photo speaks for itself.

This is a small eating shop in Chinatown. And no, I did not eat here as I was returning from another restaurant (a mediocre dumpling place that I wouldn't recommend).

Piggy Porky...

Is this a play off of Porky Pig?

Rain, Rain, Go Away

It is the winter rainy season right now in Singapore.

A torrential rain storm would start, last for several hours, stop just to tease you and the 100 others who are waiting for taxis, and then start raining again with the same gusto as before for a few more hours. Rinse. Repeat. Check out this 29-second video and listen for that thunder crack near the end.

There is absolutely no need to wear nice shoes around here nowadays.

And the humidity is just a smidge high.

A few days ago, I found my sleeveless black dress (thick suit material) that was hanging in my closet, completely, thoroughly, pervasively covered in mold. Note: I keep my closet door open always for ease of access so this was truly a shock. It was grotesquely disgusting and the dry cleaners said no promises since the mold could’ve damaged the fabric already.

There are some sunny or somewhat dry days that peak out and then everyone has their laundry out to dry.

Just another winter on a tropical island…

! ! ! RED Alert ! ! !

So, there I was... innocently riding the MRT (Mass Rapid Transit = subway) to meet some friends for dinner.

I was looking around for the MRT map to check on my transfer point and BEHOLD!

NOOOOOO!!! NO, NO, NO!!! GOOD LORD!!!

Sisters, run and lock up your uterus!!!

What, in the name of all that's holy, is going on here?!?!? How could any woman forget nature's clockwork cruelty?????

I looked around to see if any other female or even metrosexual or run-of-the-mill-regular male beings have noticed this subway poster but alas, I did not find a kindred spirit in the car. I was left to giggle uncontrollably... madly... by myself.


I did get strange looks. But no worries, my friends.

They looked away (and perhaps inched away) when I pulled out the camera to click away happily at the poster.

Remember, only Kotex Ultrathin can provide you that "instant long lasting dryness"... what does that even mean?

Is it me? Is this not funny? You tell me.

Pump It! LOUDERRR

So I fell behind in my blog entries as you can probably tell. I have been quite busy in my job search - running around meeting people, barking up strange trees and whatnot. I apologize for my slippage.

But, I had to take a break from this all-consuming self actualization. So I went to a concert.


Where: Singapore Indoor Stadium
When: Monday, October 22, 8 - 11PM
Who: Black Eyed Peas


Click Five opened at 8PM and all the teen girls pushed their way forward in their sections to scream and bob excitedly behind the railings. Ahh, youth. I recognized "Just the Girl" but was agedly clueless on the rest of their seminal hits.


All around, there was this earnest sing-along of the new generation, unable to quell their excitement and worship. I did feel old. I wondered if I looked the same way at my first concert. (Bon Jovi at Giants Stadium - I know, I know)


Black Eyed Peas kicked it off at 9PM.


They were a fantastic live act, completely working the near-full stadium of a slightly odd mix of demo - expat professionals still in their business casuals, local families with kids ages 3-20 and grandparents, twenty-something's obviously on a date, tourists, teenagers who managed to shake adult supervision, etc.


BEP put in 2 charged hours of all their hits - Bebot, Don't Lie, Don't Phunk with My Heart, Hey Mama, Shut Up, Pump It, My Humps, Let's Get It Started - and more.


Fergie and Will.i.am, who are pursuing solo gigs, performed their own songs, which weren't as strong as the group works, but hey... the crowd was nonetheless enthusiastic.

Will.i.am: I Got It From My Mama
Fergie: Fergalicious, Glamorous, London Bridge


During 'Bebot,' it was pretty awesome to see the demure Singaporean woman in front of me, jumping, waving and screaming "Filipino! Filipino!" and hearing a group of three women behind who were singing along to Apl.de.Ap's Tagalog. Yup, I wanted some chicken adobo at that moment. Check out the video below for reference.


They ended with 'Where Is the Love' and wished the crowd well. Good time was had by all.


Check:

Entrepreneurship Is Here To Stay

Some people have the perception that Singaporeans live in a severely structured society and lack chutzpah and imagination. I present you with two strange-yet-compelling business ideas that prove otherwise.

Observe, the wonder that is the Browhaus, a one-stop shop for all your brow needs. Indeed, even a miniscule surface area can support a sound franchise business.



With a hypnotic and bizarre tagline ("I died my brows and now it matches my hair"), funky treatment names and a sassy tone, Browhaus targets young people who frequently experiment with their hair. In the land of black locks, people are keen to stand out and express themselves with dyes, highlights and perms. There are 5 locations just on this island, ready to thread, dye, resurrect, curl, weave and more.


Now, I was walking by this van and could not believe that "Dial-a-Diaper" business existed. I will save the commentary but feel free to check out the Diaper World site for more information.